Don t Know When I ll Be Back Again Meme
Love songs are where we get our passion, our soul — and most of our worst ideas.
Aught good can come up of this. Photograph by Achim Voss/Flickr.
Throughout human history, oceans have been crossed, mountains take been scaled, and dandy families accept blossomed — all because of a few uncomplicated chords and a melody that inflamed a heart and propelled it on a noble, romantic mission.
On the other hand, that time y'all told that girl you just started seeing that you would "take hold of a grenade" for her? You did that considering of a love song. And it wasn't exactly a coincidence that she suddenly decided to "lose your number" and move dorsum to Milwaukee to "figure some stuff out."
"It'southward but, my mom. You know? And L.A. is so hot in the summer. And yes, my mom." Photograph via iStock.
That fourth dimension you held that smash box over your head exterior your ex'due south house? You did that considering of a love vocal. And 50 hours of community service later on, you're nonetheless not back together.
Love songs are great. They make our hearts crush faster. They inspire us to take risks and put our feelings on the line. And they requite united states of america terrible, terrible ideas about how actual, real-life human being relationships should work.
They're astonishing. So astonishing. And also terrible.
Here are six love songs that sound romantic but aren't, and one song that doesn't sound romantic but totally is:
1. "God Only Knows," by The Beach Boys
Yous tin keep your "Surfin' Safaris," your "I Get Arounds," and your "Help me Rhondas."
When it comes to The Beach Boys, "God Only Knows" is where it'south at. A lush garden of soft horns and breezy tune. A tie-dye swirl of audio. A landscape of haunted innocence with some of the nigh heartrending lyrics ever committed to the dorsum of a surfboard.
Youth! Youth! Youth! Photograph by Hulton Archive/Getty Images.
Here'due south why it sounds romantic:
I may not e'er love you
But long every bit there are stars above y'all
You never demand to dubiousness information technology
I'll make you then certain near it
God only knows what I'd be without you
If you lot're traipsing through a meadow in a sundress with your beloved and not playing "God Simply Knows" on your iPod, y'all should really stop and starting time over.
If yous're lazily bumping a beach ball over a volleyball net and "God Only Knows" isn't playing somewhere in the dorsum of your heed, you need to rethink the choices that got you to this bespeak.
If you're a video editor compiling footage of grainy hippies frolicking in the mud and you're not underscoring it with the opening chords of "God Only Knows," you are doing it incorrect.
Hippies, probable on their manner to a mud frolic. Photo by Colin Davey/Getty Images.
It'southward a song that simply feels similar love. Pure dear. Young dear. Love with a chill, kelp-y vibe.
What could be wrong with that?
Here's why information technology's actually really, actually unromantic:
In that location's nothing incorrect with loving someone. Sending them flowers. Leaving over-the-top notes in their P.O. boxes. Stroking their hair as they fall asleep while you whisper the complete works of Nicholas Sparks into their ear.
"Miles Ryan stood on the back porch of his business firm, smoking a cigarette..." Photo past hatchettebookgroup.biz.
Merely there is such a matter as loving someone a skosh besides much.
If you should ever leave me
Though life would still continue believe me
The globe could show nothing to me
So what skilful would living do me?
Await, I get information technology. Breakups suck. At that place's no getting effectually that. Simply skilful God.
In that location'southward a huge difference betwixt saying: "Hey babe, you are my showtime and foremost everything and I'll be bummed if y'all become." And saying: "Welp, y'all accepted that task in Seattle, so I'm just gonna chug a bunch of nightshade and phone call it a life."
But that'south pretty much the gist hither. Which makes this line...
God simply knows what I'd be without y'all
...horror-movie creepy. Because the answer, apparently, is: "I'd be a corpse!"
Ah well. We had a expert run. Photograph via iStock.
That's non love. That's codependency (to put information technology mildly). Oh, and hey! Threatening to kill yourself if your partner leaves isn't loving. Information technology'south a course of emotional abuse.
Investing all your happiness and sense of self-worth in any relationship — 1 that, past definition, might one day end — is putting a lot of eggs in one basket. Sure, God may only know what you'd exist without her, but God probably also hopes you lot have, I don't know, some hobbies. Take a yoga class. Google some woodworking videos. Try kite surfing.
"Aye! Hell yep! What was her name once more?" Photo past Jim Semlor/Federal Highway Administration.
One person cannot be anyone's be-all and end-all. It's likewise stressful. And it prevents you from doing you, which is a thing that's gotta exist washed before you can exercise annihilation else.
No wonder she took that job in Seattle.
2. "Treasure," past Bruno Mars
Sure, it'south a blatant rip off of every Michael Jackson song you've ever heard. But, we don't have Michael Jackson anymore, and as tribute acts become, yous could practise a lot worse than Bruno Mars.
Look at that confront. That face! Photo past Brothers Le/Flickr.
Here's why the song sounds romantic:
Treasure, that is what you are
Honey, you're my golden star
You know you can brand my wish come true
If you let me treasure yous
If yous let me treasure you
Pass those lyrics to anyone on a used napkin at an 8th-course make-out party and you'll likely get an instant price pass on the highway to tongue-town (ew).
Pass them to your spouse and, chances are, date dark is going to culminate in 47 minutes of chaste-yet-passionate frenching.
Pass them to a cop who pulls you over for running a stop sign, and they volition think yous're weird — merely probably however make out with you.
In fact, Bruno Mars basically has a lifetime laissez passer to make out with America considering of this song.
This is what happens when you write "Treasure" and y'all're on phase with Michelle Obama. Photograph past Mandel Ngan/Getty Images.
And I'thousand OK with that.
Only, here's why "Treasure" isn't as romantic every bit it seems:
Everything nearly "Treasure" is retro. Everything.
Including its attitudes about gender.
"Children, accept I ever told you what I shouted at your mother on the street the first time we met?" Photo past Jacobsen/Getty Images.
Things showtime to become due south right from the very beginning:
Give me your, give me your, give me your attending, baby
I gotta tell you a little something about yourself
Ah yes. Nada screams "respect" quite similar a man lecturing a strange woman on the street about something she "doesn't know about herself."
What could it exist? Could it be that her jokes are funny? Could information technology be that she's got something in her teeth? Could information technology be that her nonfiction volume almost early modern German language history is extremely detailed and informative?
"Thanks for educational activity me all about Martin Luther's bible!" Photograph by Torsten Schleese/Wikimedia Eatables.
Spoiler Alert: It's none of those.
Yous're wonderful, flawless, ooh, you're a sexy lady
But you lot walk around here like you wanna be someone else
Oh. Information technology's that she's sexy. Cool, bro. Very original.
Word of advice? Regardless of how she'due south walking, the lady knows she's sexy. Even if she doesn't, it really doesn't affect her 24-hour interval-to-day then much that you lot, a complete stranger, need to shout it at her (fifty-fifty over a funky disco snare).
Then what if she does want to exist someone else? I'd love to exist someone else! I think beingness Ryan Gosling would exist quite nice. A practiced way to spend a 3-twenty-four hours weekend.
Certain, there'd exist an adjustment period... Photograph by Eamonn Thousand. McCormack/Getty Images.
And so later, of class, the narrator can't help himself:
Pretty girl, pretty girl, pretty girl, you should be smile
A girl like you should never await then bluish.
He respects her then much, he'south actually straight-up telling her to smiling! Much like Mars' character "Uptown Funk," who appears to get off on angrily exhorting girls to "striking [their] hallelujah." Which, y'all know, I approximate everybody'south got a thing.
Aye, in the world of "Treasure," a healthy relationship is an unending stream of a homo complimenting a strange woman and said adult female being and then totally flattered that she immediately dispenses "the sexual activity."
He and then gain to talk to his potential lover like the earth's creepiest pirate:
You lot are my treasure, yous are my treasure
You are my treasure, yeah, you, you, you, you are
You are my treasure, you are my treasure
You lot are my treasure, yeah, you, y'all, you, you are
Past this point, in his mind, she'due south a literal matter. An object. Which is fitting.
I suppose it could be worse, though. At to the lowest degree she'southward not just any affair.
GIF from "The Two Towers."
That'south ... something, right?
3. "Don't Recall Twice, It'southward All Correct," by Bob Dylan
For equally long as humans take been dating each other, humans have been breaking upward with each other. And "Don't Think Twice" is a portrait of a human relationship going down in flames. Glorious, poetic, acoustic flames.
Bob Dylan, a guy who is skilful at writing songs that a lot of people like. Photo by William Lovelace/Getty Images.
Here's why information technology sounds romantic:
Well, it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, infant
Even you don't know by now
And it ain't no use to sit and wonder why, babe
It'll never do somehow
When your rooster crows at the break of dawn
Expect out your window, and I'll be gone
Y'all're the reason I'm a-traveling on
Simply don't think twice, it's all right.
Smash. Strummed on out of that friends-with-benefits state of affairs like whoa.
"Don't Think Twice" is a raw song. An honest song. A powerful vocal. It's the song your older sister played on continuous loop for six months later on her swain left for higher. The vocal that convinced your Aunt Roslyn to leave her bank-teller task, load her four Australian shepherds into the van, and open a wind chime store in Mendocino. The song your friend's cool dad always wants to play when he invited your high schoolhouse band over to his apartment to jam.
"What timbre are you looking for?" Photograph by Sharon Ang/Pixabay.
Certain, information technology'south nigh the end of a relationship, but it sounds romantic. And at the cease of the day, shouldn't that be enough?
Here's why it's actually sooooo messed upward:
Relationships end. For a lot of reasons. And while there is no right mode to call it quits with someone, when the dust settles, both parties can certainly benefit from a difficult, honest word about what went wrong.
It'south not me, Joan. Information technology'due south you. 100% you lot. Photo by Rowland Scherman/Getty Images.
In "Don't Recollect Twice," that word basically boils downward to: "Information technology'southward your fault."
Let's review the reasons the dude in "Don't Think Twice" is splitting with his lady friend:
I gave her my heart, but she wanted my soul
Ugh, women, right? Yous're all like, "Babe, I just have so much unspecified love to give," and she's similar, "Accept out the trash!" And you lot're like, "But baaaaaaabe, shouldn't my heart be plenty?" And she'due south like, "No, seriously. I already did the laundry, cleaned the whole house, fed the dog, did the dishes, and made both of our lunches for the week. All I need you to practise is take out the trash." And you're similar, "You're bumming me out. I'm gonna become play guitar." And and then she gets all mad! What did y'all exercise? Why is she trying to change you? UGH!
Yous could accept done ameliorate, simply I don't mind
Yes. You do mind! You mind! You wrote a song about it, you lot passive-aggressive prick.
You merely kinda wasted my precious time
Ah yes. Your time is so precious! Think most all the hours you wasted plumbing the ocean-deep, ecstatic mysteries of human partnership when you could accept been futzing around with that home-brew kit.
Yes, this was worth it. Photo past Nib Bradford/Flickr.
The infinitesimal you start breaking it down, the bulletin of "Don't Think Twice" of a sudden starts to seem a lot less romantic. Like your sister'south ex-beau, who worked at the Bass Pro Shop in boondocks for a while and now might be in jail. Like your aunt'south air current chime store, which would have airtight forever ago had she not received that inheritance from her mom in the '80s. Like your friend'due south cool dad, who wasn't exactly, technically, paying child support.
"You kids desire a beer? No ane's nether 13, correct?" Photograph via iStock.
Oh yeah, and the song'south narrator also point-blank refers woman he'due south leaving as:
A child, I'grand told
That's right. In add-on to existence a run-of-the-mill passive-aggressive wiggle — turns out, he's besides possibly a pedophile.
Even if we are to accept that this is a metaphor and she's not actually a child — which there's no indication it is, but OK, Bob Dylan — the fact that Commitmentphobe Gunderson here would willingly choose an immature partner reflects manner more poorly on him than it does on her.
Breaking upward with anyone in such a cruel, dismissive mode is a recipe for sticking them with years of therapy bills.
Which, I suppose, may be the point.
four. "Leaving on a Jet Plane," past John Denver
Who has two thumbs and wrote a bittersweet folk song about hurtling through the stratosphere in a giant aluminum tube at 600 miles per hour?
This guy. Photo by Hughes Television Network/Wikimedia Eatables.
Here'due south why it sounds romantic:
"Leaving on a Jet Plane" is a lovely song. And impressive in its loveliness because jet planes were still kind of new at the time it was written.
'Cause I'one thousand leavin' on a jet plane
To a modern ear, this would exist sort of like singing, "I'm a scoooting away on my hoverboooooard," just in a way that's somehow still folksy and heartbreaking and singable by 9-year-olds at summertime camp. Not easy to exercise!
Oh babe, I detest to become
You see — he hates to go! He simply hates it! We know this, considering he tells u.s.a. he hates it. And why would he hate to go if he didn't beloved his partner just that much?
See ya! Photo past Altair78/Wikimedia Commons.
Why indeed?
Here'southward why it's really not that romantic at all:
All the plaintive guitar, loping bass line, and twangy, melancholy warbling in the world can simply distract so much from the fact that the song'southward main character is well, kind of a jerkweed.
And in reality — surprise surprise! — it doesn't actually seem like he hates existence away all that much:
There's then many times I've let you lot downwardly
So many times I've played effectually
I tell you now, they don't hateful a thing
"Baby, I promise! All the movies I watched solitary while yous were home nursing the quadruplets. All the times I drained our life savings on Zoo Zillionaire. All the random sex I had with other women. Totally meaningless. Certainly fun to do! Actually fun. Like, I had a fantastic fourth dimension. But rest assured — completely empty, in an ontological sense."
"As empty equally this bed I just finished having sex with someone else in." Photograph via iStock.
Yes, when you intermission information technology downwardly, "Leaving on a Jet Aeroplane," is less of a passionate tribute to dearest overcoming distance and more than the deluded ramblings of a guy who needs to convince himself he's "good" despite all show to the reverse.
And for all he claims to be broken upward nigh having to part from his 1 and only, the dude seems pretty excited most the flight. Oh, you lot're leaving on a jet airplane, are you? Are you Zone 1? Gonna humblebrag on Twitter about the "terrible" Cibo express salad y'all were forced to choke downward as you sabbatum waiting to commence on your fun, mysterious adventure?
"Life then hard @ LGA #missingmybabe." Photograph by Gesalbte/Wikimedia Commons.
He continues:
Ev'ry identify I go, I'll recollect of you
Ev'ry song I sing, I'll sing for yous
Ah absurd. He'll call back almost her while strumming and making "my love is frail every bit the morn dew" eyes at a waif-y grad pupil in the front row. That pretty much makes upward for information technology all.
So he demands:
So kiss me and smiling for me
Tell me that you'll expect for me
After all the betrayal and heartbreak, after basically revealing himself to be a grade-A sleaze who tin can't exist trusted, he still has the gall to tell her to wait? To wait for him?
And here's the kicker:
When I come up back, I'll bring your wedding ring
Ah yes. He'll put a ring on it. Finally.
"Ehhhhhhh...." Photo via iStock.
Unlike all the previous trips, where he's cheated a billion times, drained the family unit bank account, and just been a general screwup and disappointment.
Just yep. This fourth dimension he says he'll bring back a wedding band.
I hope she joins a polyamorous octad and never looks dorsum.
5. "When a Homo Loves a Woman," Percy Sledge
When you look up "soul" in the lexicon, the book plays you lot a recording of this song.
Percy Sledge, having a few thoughts. Photo by Gene Pugh/Flickr.
Specifically, it plays you lot the very first line.
Here's why it sound very romantic:
When a homo loves a woman
Sure, you tin write the lyrics downward, only it doesn't even come close to capturing the heartache. The yearning. The succulent, delicious pain-belting:
WHEN A MAN LOVES A Woman
Closer ... merely still no.
WHEN A MAAAAAAAN. LOVES A WOOOMAN!
Yeah! Sing information technology, Percy Sledge!
It'due south an elemental lyric.
It'due south a center-shattering lyric.
Information technology's a lyric that demands y'all put your back into it.
Information technology's perfection.
As long as you don't keep listening.
Here'south why the song is actually pretty horrifying:
From the opening lines of "When a Man Loves a Woman," we know that, at least on occasion, a man loves a woman.
Which raises the question: What happens when said human loves said woman?
He'd give upwardly all his comforts
And sleep out in the rain
If she said that's the mode
It ought to be.
Whoa! OK. No. Back up. A man, no matter how devoted, no thing how selfless, no matter how in dear, needs shelter. Otherwise, a human will die of exposure and hypothermia.
Turn his back on his best friend if he put her down.
No! Jeez. No. A human tin can't put up with that kind of isolating behavior. A man needs friends! In one case a man's whole support system erodes out from nether him, a human being will be bitter, ungrounded, and lone. And a man'due south mental wellness volition deteriorate.
I gave you everything I take
Tryin' to hold on to your heartless love
Baby, please don't care for me bad.
This is not what happens "when a man loves a adult female." It's what happens when a man loves a controlling, manipulative adult female. An calumniating woman. A woman who, in truth, just loves a woman. Herself.
"Information technology's Chris or me." Photo by geralt/Pixabay.
And that's not healthy.
Run, Percy Sledge, run! We're here for you.
(Side annotation: Lest information technology go unsaid, there is way more than i way for a human to honey a woman. Maybe they spend every waking moment cuddling and bopping each other on the olfactory organ. Maybe they sleep in separate bedrooms. Maybe they dress up in large, costly cat costumes and refer to each other Mr. and Mrs. Kittyhawk. And when a man loves a man, I imagine it feels much the same. Or when a woman loves a woman. Or when a gender nonconforming person loves a gender nonconforming person.)
Regardless of the depth of delivery, living situation, or combination of genders or sexual orientations, there's no 1-size-fits-all love solution. Every relationship is a unique snowflake. Variety is the spice of life. Necessity is the mother of invention. There's more than one way to pare a true cat. A spoonful of sugar helps the medicine go down.
It doesn't matter if it'south the right metaphor, every bit long as it's a metaphor. Photo past Rosmarie Voegtli/Flickr.
Signal existence: Generalize at your peril, Sledge. And please, seek help! Y'all can practise this! And if you e'er discover yourself in a similar situation, please give these people a phone call.
six. "All I Wanna Do is Make Dearest to You," Heart
Honestly, Center could sing a listing of the most pop AllRecipes ("Jaaaamie's Cranberry Spinach Saaaaalad/Globe's Best Lasaaaaagna/Sour Creeeeeam Cutouts") and it would make me want to bark my optics out in the artillery of a tall, dark stranger at the end of a pier.
This song is perfect. Yous should ever be listening to information technology. If you're non listening to it at present, smack yourself in the face and Google it. It's just that important.
I am singing the telephone book. You lot are weeping like a tiny infant. Photo by FatCat125/Wikimedia Commons.
And then much passion. Then much pain. So much hair.
Here's why it sounds romantic:
Over pounding drums and a soaring melody, Heart sisters Nancy and Ann Wilson deliver a primal tribute to the one true romantic fantasy shared by every living being on Earth: picking upwards an unnervingly attractive man for i dark of mind-bravado sexual activity and then releasing him dorsum into the wild to os — simply never quite as compellingly always again.
They sing:
It was a rainy night when he came into sight
Continuing by the route, no umbrella, no glaze
So I pulled up aslope and I offered him a ride
He accepted with a smile then we collection for a while
I don't have to go on because you know what happens side by side, and it'south awesome.
"I only sit in this motel. Counting the days since. Counting ... the ... days." Photo by Rene Asmussen/Pexels.
Now, here's why this song is not romantic at all:
The relationship in "All I Wanna Exercise" seems also good to be true. And it is. Because it'southward non an equally loving ,or even equally lusty, pairing at all.
It's a...
It's a...
Well. You know what it is:
Skillful at recognizing no-win situations and succulent with lemon?! Photo past Pikawil/Flickr.
For a while, things are humming along just fine, similar whatever wholesome, illicit, bearding thing should:
I didn't enquire him his proper name, this solitary boy in the rain
Fate, tell me it's correct, is this love at first sight?
Sure, many of us might hesitate to pick up a strange leather-jacket-clad man standing on the side of the route for a no-strings-attached screw, but our narrator just has a feeling virtually this guy, and sometimes, you gotta become with your gut.
I can respect that.
Nosotros made magic that night
He did everything right
Great! Seems similar it was a good decision. Bonking the hitchhiker is payin' off big fourth dimension.
But then, without alert, the song starts to sound less like an all-time great romance and more like a story men's rights activists tell each other as they vape around a campfire:
I told him "I am the flower, you are the seed
We walked in the garden, we planted a tree
Don't try to discover me, delight don't you dare
Merely live in my retentivity, you'll e'er exist there"
I'm not a poet. Symbolic language frequently eludes me. But unless "flower," "seed," "garden," and "tree," of a sudden mean wildly different things in the context of human being reproduction than they accept since sex was beginning invented in the early-1970s, we're talking about a surprise, not-mutually-consensual pregnancy!
HELLO! Photo by Avsar Aras/Wikimedia Eatables.
Of course, metaphors are opaque, interpretations vary, etc., etc., etc. You might be tempted to think, "Maybe Heart meant something else by that."
To that I say, no, they definitely meant it:
Then it happened one solar day
Nosotros came circular the same way
You lot can imagine his surprise
When he saw his own optics
There are two possibilities here.
1: The narrator of the song is recently-deceased Jerry Orbach from this creepy New York Metropolis subway advertising from nine years ago:
Photo by eyedonation.org.
Or two: She totally conned a dude into whipping up a baby on the sly.
I said, "Please, please understand
Ah, certain. Aye. No worries.
I'm in love with another man
Cool, so this all makes sense and is in no fashion the nightmarish scheme of a deranged sociopath who has now wrecked non ane but two lives.
And what he couldn't requite me, oh, no
Was the one trivial thing that you tin can"
A HUMAN LIFE! A Existent SENTIENT Man LIFE THAT IS NOT INCIDENTAL TO ALL OF THIS!
The best you can say nearly that is that it'due south non technically illegal, and that leather-jacket man probably should have been responsible for his ain nascency control. Or, at the very least, asked more questions .
But ... it'due south not cute. It's not romantic (even the Wilson sisters themselves agree).
And at the finish of the day, the shadiest graphic symbol in this song is somehow not the pelting-soaked hitchhiker wandering to nowhere in the night.
Which... is saying something.
But there is a love vocal that is truly, madly, securely perfect. An unassailable track in a sea of problematic faves.
A song that does everything correct.
A vocal that paints a portrait of a healthy partnership congenital to last.
A vocal that can double every bit a manual for the platonic human romantic relationship.
And that song is...
"Candy Store," by 50 Cent, featuring Olivia
Here'southward why you might be — OK, almost definitely are — skeptical:
l Cent (L) and that guy. You know, that guy? That guy! Photo by Ethan Miller/Getty Images.
Every bit catchy as "Candy Store" is, equally fun it is to dance to, and as cathartic as it can be to scream in the center of a crowded fraternity firm at 2 a.g., in that location's no getting around the fact that the vocal begins like this:
I'll take you to the processed store
I'll allow you lick the lollipop
I'll post that over again, in case yous missed some of the dash:
I'll have you to the candy shop
I'll let y'all lick the lollipop
Manner to have one for the team, narrator of "Candy Shop"!
At offset glance, "Candy Shop" is nobody's thought of a classic love song.
The lyrics are ... unusually forwards. The trounce is kinda basic. The hook is like the music they play when Abu Nazir sidles scarily past in "Homeland."
OooooOOOOoooooOOOo. GIF from "Homeland."
It doesn't become played much anymore. When information technology does resurface, information technology feels ... kinda dated. Similar watching that DVD of "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Burn" on your new Xbox 360.
It's not a song you'd put on a mixtape for your shell. It's non a song you'd play for your spouse when the kids are at abode with the bodyguard and you've got nine hours to tear up the Piscataway Hampton Inn. It's certainly not a song you'd include on the video photo montage you made for your grandparents' argent anniversary.
Information technology's merely not.
But it should exist.
Then here it is. Here's why "Candy Shop" past 50 Cent, featuring Olivia, is actually the perfect relationship song:
Yous wanna dorsum that affair upward or should I push up on it? Photo past ionasnicolae/Pixabay.
The bass pulsate hits. The MIDI violins whine. The vocalist starts filling out his fellatio permission slip. Information technology's only been xx seconds, and yous're already getting ready to hang it up with "Processed Shop."
But then ... over the square thrum and the mewling strings, a miracle occurs — in the course of a female voice joining the track, cutting through the din like a clarion call.
She sings:
I'll take yous to the candy shop (yeah)
Boy, one gustation of what I got (uh-huh)
I'll have you spendin' all yous got (come on)
Keep going 'til yous striking the spot, whoa
Information technology'south mutual! Information technology'south mutual! They're performing oral sexual activity on each other!
Ring the bells! Bang the drums! Release the doves!
Go, cunnilingus doves, go! Photograph by liz west/Flickr.
50 Cent himself may non be the world'southward greatest partner — for example, according to one of his exes, he's done some pretty unforgivable things.
Just the narrator of "Candy Store"? He gets it:
You could have it your way, how practise y'all want information technology?
Rather than simply imposing his desires on the person he's with — a la the dude in "God But Knows ("I'm going to invest my entire sense of self-worth in you!") or the street heckler in "Treasure" ("I'm going to treat you similar a chest full of gilded doubloons!") or the sociopath in "All I Wanna Exercise is Brand Love to You," ("I'one thousand going to trick y'all into knocking me up!") — the "Candy Shop" guy actually asks his partner what she wants.
Which, in the world of popular music, is good for about 50,000 trillion points.
And where are they going to do it? The hotel? Back of the rental? The beach? The park?
It's whatever you're into
'Cause consent is sexy!
I ain't finished teaching you lot 'tour how sprung I got ya
The narrator of "Processed Store" is certainly ... assertive nearly his desires.
Simply here's the fundamental thing: the lady on the receiving end of those desires? She'southward clearly into it. And we know this because she says and so.
The lines of consent in "Processed Shop" are vivid ruby, highlighted, and soldered into the weirdly sticky gild floor.
Meanwhile, Robin Thicke is outside trying to convince the bouncer that his uncle is a lawyer. Photo past Grim23/Wikimedia Commons.
Girl what we exercise ...
And where we practise ...
The things we practise ...
Are just between me and yous
No matter how nasty they freak, information technology will be intimate. It volition be private. There will be no revenge porn (the epilogue to "Blurred Lines," to wit, would definitely be a protracted, emotionally devastating lawsuit).
If you be a nympho, I'll be a nympho
Sexual compatibility is key to the survival of any relationship, whether years, weeks, or (very maybe in the instance of "Processed Store") minutes long.
She may have a loftier sex drive, but dude is graciously offer to accommodate her. What a gentleman! These crazy kids just might go the distance after all.
And at the end of the day, what is a human relationship merely two nymphos, sharing health insurance?
Thanks, Obamacare! Photograph by Wonderlane/Flickr.
It's like it's a race who could get undressed quicker
Once more, everybody is having a great time. And, critically, an equally great time.
I touch the correct spot at the right time
Of form, it wouldn't be a pop/hip-hop hit without a spot of random braggadocio, but if we're to have him at his word, "Candy Shop" guy is at least equally good at "doing everything correct" equally the anonymous hitchhiker from "All I Wanna Do is Brand Love to You lot" — except without all the creepy surprise baby nonsense.
The "Candy Shop" guy is a keeper. Considering he's not a hero or a stranger in the night or a funky, shimmering love god. He's a adept partner.
"Candy Shop" is raunchy. It'southward muddied. It'southward not your grandmother'south dearest song.
But when you strip away the swagger, the back trounce, and the weird strings from "Best of Public Domain Middle Eastern Music 1993," by the terminate of the song, both people are satisfied. And at the end of the day, isn't that what a salubrious relationship is all about?
Aye.
Uh-huh.
Photo by Francois Durand/Getty Images.
So seductive.
Source: https://www.upworthy.com/6-songs-that-seem-romantic-but-arent-and-one-that-seems-like-it-isnt-but-is
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